Tag Archives: News

Podcast 82

Crash Vegas | The World’s Greatest Radio Juggler | What to Serve When Bombing | The Week in Pork Futures | Sean Spicer’s Letters Home | The Autonomous Space Agency Network Protests in Space

Podcast 81

Curse You, Trump Opponents | The Conservative Party of Canada Leadership Race | Sean Spicer Kindergarten Press Briefing (The Daily Show) | Bingo Number of the Week | Newspaper Comment Section Default Avatar Guy | Introducing TREMENDOUS CLOTH!

Podcast 80

Senator Beyak and Tactile Close Encounters of a New Kind | My New Mike Pence Purity Rules | Jared Kushner’s Mar-a-Lago One-Stop Shopping Mall of America

They Have Begun to Drain the Swamp!

Mr. Venti Cappuccino, Chairman of the House Diabolical Mustachio Committee, has pulled it off. He has rendered the Office of Official Optimism toothless and ineffectual, having placed it under the auspices of the House Committee for Keeping It Secret.

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Mr. and Mrs. Fashism

Mr. and Mrs. Fashism ride the enormous circuit of the 89 towards the Patriot Bureau. En route they debark at the Olde Tyme Shop, leaving the box store some hours later with plastic bags of gold plated trinketry.

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Mr. Crusher’s brand

The color of my brand is gold, tremendous 24k gold. You know when you see the gold of my brand that my brand is rich, so it is powerful, so it is number one and nothing and no one is above or even equal to my brand. My brand is the ultimate, the best, the winner. Whenever it is written, it is written in large letters, the largest letters, the large 24k gold of the winner who is above all else. No name shall be bigger. If there is another name, the name of my brand shall be the largest name, in fact it shall be the largest of all the words, of all the other words that are near. No other name shall surpass the name of my brand, ever.

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The Tapping of Marco Lepsi

The orange menace knots his power tie. When finished he looks down to inspect the result. Its tip grazes a knee, sways and grazes the other knee, and so on back and forth between his knees, just as the tip of a perfectly deployed tie ought. He tapes the tie-tail, rendered too short to reach the keeper loop, firmly into place. Then he inspects himself in the full-length mirror. He likes what he sees. The orange menace grins, and a relief of orange putty, the shape of a walnut, forms on the pediment atop his scrofulous lappet.

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