Politics

Mr Htimsbackwards

Mr Htimsbackwards, my friend, perhaps even my conscience, perhaps my only friend and my only conscience, perhaps my soul, or myself even, perhaps. On a friday, or a monday. In any case, upon a day of the week. Your choice,… Read More ›

Podcast 82

Crash Vegas | The World’s Greatest Radio Juggler | What to Serve When Bombing | The Week in Pork Futures | Sean Spicer’s Letters Home | The Autonomous Space Agency Network Protests in Space

Podcast 81

Curse You, Trump Opponents | The Conservative Party of Canada Leadership Race | Sean Spicer Kindergarten Press Briefing (The Daily Show) | Bingo Number of the Week | Newspaper Comment Section Default Avatar Guy | Introducing TREMENDOUS CLOTH!

Podcast 80

Senator Beyak and Tactile Close Encounters of a New Kind | My New Mike Pence Purity Rules | Jared Kushner’s Mar-a-Lago One-Stop Shopping Mall of America

Kalashnikov’s Umbrella

I have been summoned by the President-elect, Mr. Crusher. He wishes to speak to me of peace. Not only of peace, but of war. And not only of peace and of war, but of the Middle East. You see, Mr. Crusher believes that he can bring peace to the Middle East.

The Ghost of Presidents Future

Mr. George W. Bush furrows his brow, rests his chin in hand. As he floats in the air, his tapping foot touches nothing.
“I was supposed to say something to you about starting World War III. You know, to do it, or to don’t do it. It’s either good or evil, World War III. ”
“So true. I haven’t made up my mind yet, to be honest. Some days I’m leaning one way, other days—.”

A Bigly Christmas

Gather around, children, gather around. That’s right, at my feet, like good patriotic Americans. Kids, don’t sit on the Louis XIV chairs, made of the best 24k gold, okay? Sit here on the marble floor, which my servants will have an easier time sanitizing after you’re gone, which hopefully will be soon.