Gather around, children, gather around. That’s right, at my feet, like good patriotic Americans. Kids, don’t sit on the Louis XIV chairs, made of the best 24k gold, okay? Sit here on the marble floor, which my servants will have an easier time sanitizing after you’re gone, which hopefully will be soon.
– “Look at her,” shouts the Orange Menace. “Look at the loser! So SAD!”
They look. They attack. Now that the party has been given a common theme, a shared purpose, they co-ordinate, like a master switch turning everything on simultaneously. They focus their hate on the young lady and set to the work of tearing her down.
My brand wins. It is power. Power above all rivals, above all else, at any cost, by any means.
The orange menace knots his power tie. When finished he looks down to inspect the…
I have worked out the most efficient way to ensure that there is change, by alternating my vote, in turn voting for the progressive candidate, who moves things forward, and then in turn for the conservative candidate, who moves things back. In other words I alternate back and forth, casting a vote for progress followed by a vote for conservation, every four years an alternating.
All you need to understand is that we are going to make America great again. Great is a word, and it is a spirit. Yes, I am saying spirit again. I did say it, it’s no contradiction on my part to have said I didn’t ever say it, for when I said hope I was saying spirit, and when I was saying spirit I was saying hope.
They are saying to me Rasah you have changed my life praise God I want to be more like you I have all your books Rasah! and I say That is so sweet gosh I am humbled by these words of yours I am just a humble servant of God will that be Visa or Mastercard?
As I see it, my job is to save Western civilization. To save Western civilization one must destroy it, or nearly destroy it, or allow it to be nearly destroyed from a safe distance.
I was hired to investigate the election. There, I have said it. It is out in the open now. There are suspicions that the Russians have hacked the computers that tally the votes. Whose suspicions? I have no idea, they are suspicions. Anyone may have them. Russians, for example.
The people of this region have fought for millennia, but there will be peace. At last, there will be peace in this land.
Today I will be judging the contestants for this very important cabinet position. Only one will win. No one but me and my extremely telegenic daughter, Laki, will know who that is. But let me tell you, it’s going to be very, very tough.
“America,” says the Orange Crusher. “What a wonderful place!” He will sleep well tonight. He will dream a tremendous dream. And soon that dream will become reality.
The orange menace sleeps his usual seventeen minutes but does not sleep well. He wakes…
Each morning the orange menace rises at 4:20, refreshed by his standard seventeen minutes of…
Geld Times journalist Barry Leed is an unacknowledged hero. Although he failed to anticipate the…