Game requirements: Two to four players, one die, play or real money (you only need 100s and 500s), player pieces, rule sheet, beverages. To play: Cast die and advance clockwise, or west to east, beginning at the lime green Etobicoke circle. Follow instructions on circles as you land. Only collect/pay on the four city circles (Etobicoke, North York, Scarborough and Downtown) when you land on them, not if you pass over. Be the first to collect $3,000 and you get to go to the crack house at 15 Windsor Road (WIN!) Enjoy.
• Week of 01.12.2013 | Black Friday
Black Friday shopping in US marred by violence | ‘This isn’t Toronto,’ sheriff says after U.S. mayor’s drug arrest | Afghanistan to reintroduce public stoning as punishment for adultery | Game: Finish the Headline | Featured Article: Rumsfeld’s War and Its Consequences Now | Syria war ‘damaging a generation of children’, UN warns | Music: Queens of the Stone Age | Feds spend $40 million to pitch natural resources | Feds to monitor social media round-the-clock | New Snowden docs show U.S. spied during G20 in Toronto | Highlights from Boring Tweeter @b0ringtweets | Teacher’s attempt to educate students on Internet safety turns into weird viral science lesson | Meindfeld | Why I Keep a Spreadsheet of Everyone I’ve Ever Slept With
ROB FORD, henceforth the pro forma Mayor of Toronto, delivered a short statement just before Toronto city council moved to deplete his staff, privileges, budget and authority. After a brief introductory flourish, congratulating the Hamilton Tiger-Cats for their recent victory, came a patchwork of personal anecdote, Bible verse and self-justification lumped together in an effort to discredit Ford’s fellow municipal councillors. His closing was of special note, striking as is so often the case with a Ford self-defence that irritating mixture of self-pity and belligerent menace:
• Week of 17.11.2013
WITH SO MANY items from which to choose, it was inspiring to see the great Rob Ford, Canada’s bestest mayor ever, taking the courageous and principled course by candidly admitting guilt in what is doubtless his most outrageous crime. On his radio program this weekend Rob Ford admitted that he drank a touch too much on St Patrick’s Day (something looked upon with horror and disgust in this city and elsewhere) and that he’ll try to slow it down a bit, that is if he plans afterward to leave his basement. No promises, people, because who on earth can promise not to get hammered and make a public ass of oneself. Be realistic. Even the best mayor Toronto has ever had (Rob Ford, obviously) can’t promise you unicorns and sunshine and your own private Idaho.
I HAD TO LAUGH – a morbid laugh, please note – when I read Robyn Doolittle’s article revealing that a Toronto city manager had tried to keep the hazardous condition of the Gardiner Expressway a secret. You see, long before then I’d walked under it and thought “the Gardiner Expressway is coming down.” You can’t miss it.
• Week of 13.10.2013 | “SEND IN THE CLOWNS”
Christian delusions are driving the GOP insane | Quebec physicians ordered to stop performing virginity tests | Vatican withdraws Pope Francis medals after spelling Jesus’ name wrong | Mike Duffy billed Senate $65,000 to pay friend for ‘no tangible work,’ RCMP alleges | Recommended Article: I got hired at a Bangladesh sweatshop. Meet my 9-year-old boss | This Comedian Hijacks a TED Talk And Basically Makes A Fool Out of Every “Thought Leader” Ever | Daniel Noehl Calls Police After Being Stiffed In Drug Deal | Music: Paul McCartney “New” | Charges that Canada spied on Brazil unveil CSEC’s inner workings | Scarborough residents report receiving robocalls after Toronto municipal Councillor Ainslie steps down | Giorgio Mammoliti is Back on the Toronto Executive Committee
• Week of 21.07.2013
Boston suspect Tsarnaev ‘manhunt photos’ leaked | Detroit bankruptcy: Is it a warning sign of things to come? | President Obama: “Trayvon Martin could have been me thirty-five years ago” | Recommended Article: Makers of War, by Matthieu Aikins | War not part of human nature: Science study | Russian Security Now Using Typewriters to Thwart the NSA | Russian band Pussy Riot release new anti-Putin video | ‘Pink Mass’ Has Made Westboro Baptist Church Founder’s Mom Gay In Afterlife, Satanists Claim | Charities should reject Gawker’s ‘Crackstarter’ funds
• Week of 16.06.2013
Toronto Raid | Mac Harb | James Joyce | Psychics | Recommended Article: Disease Outbreak Threatens the Future of Good Coffee | Greece Shuts Down State Broadcaster | Ten years of Same-Sex Marriage in Ontario | Revelation of Nazi Unit Leader Living in US
• Week of 01.06.2013
How to Get Rob Ford to Call You a Racist | Henry Morgentaler | Town in Northern Ireland Turns into Virtual Potemkin Village Ahead of G8 | The Zombie Plan for Middle East Peace | Recommended Article: How the Rob Ford Crack Scandal Could Save Toronto | Game: “The Puffster” | The 2013 Scripps National Spelling Bee | Nigeria Lawmakers Pass Bill Banning Gay Marriage | 32 Killed in Iraq Attacks as May Toll Crosses 600
AS I WRITE this it is impossible to say whether the drama surrounding Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s alleged new high constitutes an actual new low, but drama does seem to be the word of the moment. Exactly one year ago I moved to this city, and in the time since I have witnessed the restless strut and fret of local municipal politics, the principal player of the stage forever availing himself to fresh tales full of sound and fury.
• Week of 26.05.2013 —
The Woolwich Attack | Rob Ford Denies Being an Addict | Orthodox Christian Priests Organize LGBT Attack in Georgia | Ai Weiwei Releases Metal Song | Judge Orders Lesbian Couple to Split, Citing Texas “Morality Clause” | Game: “Finish the Headline” | Using Honeybees to Find Land Mines | Driver Hits Cyclist and is Caught After Tweeting About It | 3-D Printing of Body Parts
TODAY I HAD my hair cut at one of the many hip Toronto salons, and I found myself recalling the many haircuts I’ve had. Long ago, when my youthful hair was of unadulterated pepper, a haircut meant a visit to the barber. I don’t know that the word style was of any application to the trade, and in either case what a boy got from the barber of the 1950s to the early ’70s was always the same, at every visit and for every boy. I can’t imagine my mid-century european barbers, who had wielded a scissors and straight-razor through war and possibly also the Depression, submitting to the modish term hair stylist. But then, these were the days before everything, even life itself, became a style.
I WAS INFORMED of the death earlier this morning of Federal New Democratic Party leader, Jack Layton, by Twitter. There, in an uninterrupted chain of entries numbering in the dozens (and perhaps into the hundreds: I gave up counting) were expressions of sorrow. Never have I seen such universalism of sentiment, such spontaneous participation in a mood which appears to have touched everyone, really everyone, down to a person.