After the news, Mr. Crusher appears on the television with an update on the Emergency. “My fellow Americans, I am doing this for you. I am suspending some of your rights, for you, because there is an Emergency. God bless you.”
How does it end? they ask, because I have seen the future. I alone have seen it, not in a dream or a vision but in math.
My brand wins. It is power. Power above all rivals, above all else, at any cost, by any means.
The orange menace knots his power tie. When finished he looks down to inspect the…
I have worked out the most efficient way to ensure that there is change, by alternating my vote, in turn voting for the progressive candidate, who moves things forward, and then in turn for the conservative candidate, who moves things back. In other words I alternate back and forth, casting a vote for progress followed by a vote for conservation, every four years an alternating.
All you need to understand is that we are going to make America great again. Great is a word, and it is a spirit. Yes, I am saying spirit again. I did say it, it’s no contradiction on my part to have said I didn’t ever say it, for when I said hope I was saying spirit, and when I was saying spirit I was saying hope.
They are saying to me Rasah you have changed my life praise God I want to be more like you I have all your books Rasah! and I say That is so sweet gosh I am humbled by these words of yours I am just a humble servant of God will that be Visa or Mastercard?
As I see it, my job is to save Western civilization. To save Western civilization one must destroy it, or nearly destroy it, or allow it to be nearly destroyed from a safe distance.
I was hired to investigate the election. There, I have said it. It is out in the open now. There are suspicions that the Russians have hacked the computers that tally the votes. Whose suspicions? I have no idea, they are suspicions. Anyone may have them. Russians, for example.
The people of this region have fought for millennia, but there will be peace. At last, there will be peace in this land.
“America,” says the Orange Crusher. “What a wonderful place!” He will sleep well tonight. He will dream a tremendous dream. And soon that dream will become reality.
The orange menace sleeps his usual seventeen minutes but does not sleep well. He wakes…
The orange menace has a plan. They don’t know what it is—yet—but when they do they will say Yes, Mr. President. Whatever it is, they will say Yes. They will do his bidding, with zeal, only ever saying “Yes, Mr. President, Yes.”
Each morning the orange menace rises at 4:20, refreshed by his standard seventeen minutes of…
Geld Times journalist Barry Leed is an unacknowledged hero. Although he failed to anticipate the…