Personal Essay

Trumpists Triumphant

So much has been written of the current President that it feels almost a work of uselessness to sprinkle one’s grains on the ash pile. And yet, to a degree unmatched by his recent predecessors, Mr. Trump makes one feel both compelled to speak and, at the same time, exhausted by the thought of doing so. I’ve wondered what it would have been like to live under the regimes of, say, Saddam Hussein or Kim Jong-il, and the Trump administration provides a measure of insight into an important psychological aspect of authoritarianism. That aspect is the inescapability of the Dear Leader, the tendency of the regime to smother and exhaust its critics and their faculties. This raises the question of whether or not the President will succeed in his evident work of discrediting and confounding his critics, including those within the state who function in a constitutional capacity as a check and balance. Assuming the Trumpists do prevail, what might the world look like? That is the topic of this essay.

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Books

An iBook, Now in its 2nd Edition! “Residential Schools: With the Words and Images of Survivors”

In 2016, Residential Schools: With the Words and Images of Survivors won the Golden Oak Award. Now in its 2nd Edition, this comprehensive history of Canada’s Indian Residential School System is also available on iTunes  as a deluxe Apple iBook. The electronic version features audio and video enhancements, as well as other additional material. The full colour, hardcover version can be ordered from the publisher here.

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Here is what readers are saying:

“A respectful and informative book about the residential school system written by Aboriginal author Larry Loyie. It includes first hand accounts of many different survivors of the school system as well as photos and documents. This is a heartbreaking, but very important read as it includes the long term effects the school system has had on these families.”

“This is an excellent introduction to the history of the Indian Residential School System in Canada. I truely hope it finds it’s way into every school and church library. The authors compile personal stories, many photographs, and history in a well sequenced telling of the tragic history of relations between First Nations peoples and colonial Canada.”

“Researched and written over the span of almost two decades, the authors document the history of residential schools with first-person interviews (including that of author Larry Loyie) and photographs. It is written in a very accessible way for readers from teens to adults, and should serve as an important introduction to this blight on Canada’s history.”

“Absolutely wonderful overview of Canada’s residential schools, with firsthand accounts and pictures from survivors. Especially loved the “myths” section at the back of the book 🙂 Bravo to the survivors and authors brave enough to share their story.”

“Very comprehensive summary of Residential Schools and their legacy. Great visuals and witness accounts.”

 

Fiction

The Immaculate Conception of Kalashnikov

It is true that my name is Kalashnikov, and that I have returned. This is not to say that I was gone, for I was always present, to myself. I labor this point only because I wish to inspire no rumours of a departing and of a return, of a passing and a reanimation, of a death and a resurrection. If you hear stories along such lines, of my resurrection and of my offers of a blesséd redemption, pay no attention. Paradise is a work of deceit, calculated to prey upon your credulity. They will invariably ask for money, but do not give it to them. Simply walk away, paying no heed to their stories.

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Fiction

On the Vastness of The President’s Crowd

My name is Kalashnikov, it is true. The President is a lover of honesty, and of facts, and of reality, and so he has hired me to be his personal detective. That is why I carry this notebook of mine wherever I go. I am forever conducting investigations on behalf of the President. I am forever sorting out the truth on behalf of the President. Which is to say the facts. Which is to say the reality. Yes, I am in the business of reality, the real, the thing in and of itself. The President is a lover of the thing itself, the thing in and of itself. And I am at his service.

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Fiction

President Lincoln Has Returned

The fog of a Washington sky obscures the waning moon, as an inaugural gloom overtakes the nation. Lightning strikes the Lincoln Memorial, piercing the paraffin-saturated ceiling of translucent Alabama marble. The bolt electrifies the sixteenth President of the United States. The animated figure rises, breaking free of the fasces with one heave of its arms. Mr. Lincoln has returned.

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Fiction

Dear Diary (Jan 17)

Dear Diary,

In three sleeps I will be the 45th President of the United States and the best President ever of all time. My inauguration will be the best inauguration and they will look back and see that the marching bands were the best marching bands. I will say to President O, Get the F*** Out Of My House! Maybe I will say something else (I haven’t decided) but in my mind I will definitely be thinking GTFO. Then I will have someone pee on the bed where he slept and then burn it on a giant fire, while I dance naked under the full moon, because I hate him.

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Fiction

The Orange Menace and the Spirit of MLK

in the dark pushing the tiny buttons the tiny buttons and soon morning in the dark pushing tiny buttons almost and hit send that will show the loser who is the stronger my army of angry followers my army so angry we are strong they will see how strong how so so and i am the president greater than all others the winner strong damien crusher has won has destroyed the others the president leader of the world the leader of the world i am that i am that i am

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Fiction

Mr. Crusher’s Statement on Russia

– JANUARY 12, 2017 –

Mr. Crusher’s Statement on Russia

There was no letter to Russia from the President-elect yesterday. Mr. Crusher has never written a letter to anyone in Russia including the President of Russia Vladimir Putin. He does not know any Russians. He does not know anyone of Russian background. Mr. Crusher has never been to Russia. Mr. Crusher is not aware nor has he ever been aware of the existence of Russia. If you show Mr. Crusher a map of the world and ask him to point out Russia he will stand silent and motionless until broken from his trance by the introduction into his field of vision of a Queen of Diamonds playing card. This is because he has owned many tremendous casinos (the best casinos) and cares very much about his tremendous businesses just as he cares about America. Mr. Crusher is working hard to Make America Great Again and has NOTHING TO DO WITH RUSSIA. He has never even said the word Russia what he said in fact was Prussia. If you ask him what kind of dressing he wants on his salad he will say Italian or Ranch or Thousand Island or Roquefort or Buttermilk or Caesar or Creamy Cucumber or Green Goddess or Balsamic Vinaigrette or Catalina or Tomato & Oregano but never ever Russian. He has never played Russian Roulette. He has never read Tolstoy or Chekov or Dostoevsky. He was not given a set of seven hand-painted linden wood lacquered Semenov stacking matryoshka nested dolls by a member of the Russian mafia on 9 November 2013 after the Miss Universe Pageant in Moscow at approximately 0:27 local time. Eighty-six contestants did not wear tremendous evening gowns and the best swimsuits for “the world’s biggest and most iconic beauty contest.” Mr. Crusher does not drink so there could not have been an after-party on 9 November 2013 where Russian oligarchs consumed vodka and discussed business with Mr. Crusher who has never been to Moscow. Mr. Crusher has never noted how the golden base of the stacking matryoshka nested dolls look so nice against the 24-karat gold of his Louis XIV giltwood Portor marble-top centre table featuring a flower-filled trellis frieze centred by a female mask flanked by pierced acanthus on stepped tapering legs headed by scrolled capitals hung with husk-chains and fronted by masks joined by elaborate x-shaped stretchers centred by an octagonal boss with flower finial. Russians have never admired the painted ceilings of Mr. Crusher’s home which allegedly feature Apollo according to unverified reports that have been leaked to the fake media by liars. The Russians did not leave Mr. Crusher’s home shortly after a visit to follow-up on discussions which did not happen on 9 November 2013. It is impossible to put a recording and/or transmission device into a stacking matryoshka doll. Please notice that I am standing behind a large stack of what appears to be important documents which tells you Mr. Crusher has no conflicts of interest.

– 30 –

Media inquiries: Mr. Kalashnikov: (202) 419.7939

Fiction

The National Security Advisor’s General Theory of Everything

I begin with a premise. The world is mad. It must be laboured into a form of sanity. From the premise flows the conclusion. Sanity is a form. It is not a substance. If it were a substance we should not know sanity. Not until we have known the substance of sanity. The substance however can only be found through a process. Through the labor itself. Sanity is the labor. It is the process. It is independent and irrespective of substance. The substance comes later. It comes after the labor. It is a result of the labor.

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